If you think that fertility preservation might be right for you, you’ll need to speak to a healthcare professional for information and advice, and to begin the process. You might feel a little apprehensive about the first appointment, which is completely understandable.
This guide has been developed to help you to prepare for your appointment and to navigate the conversations you’ll have – it contains useful insights from a healthcare expert, along with someone who has been through the journey first-hand.
Julie Nekkebroeck is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist working at Brussels-IVF. She is involved in fertility screenings and counselling patients on oocyte cryo-preservation. Julie helps patients make well informed decisions supporting them before, during and after treatment to feel ready to embark on motherhood.
Dr. Zoe Williams
Dr. Zoe Williams is an English physician and TV personality based in the UK who also made the decision to freeze her eggs. Her experience in helping bring clarity to medical conversations, including those related to fertility, makes her the perfect candidate in providing support for this guide.
Beginning the conversation
Try to be as open and honest as possible about your reasons and hopes for fertility preservation, as well as any concerns you have. The healthcare expert can thengive you the best/most appropriate advice for your specific circumstances.
“I have decided to start the process of fertility preservation because...”
“My aim is to...”
What will the doctor need to know?
Be prepared for what could be a challenging conversation – this is a personal and sensitive topic – but remember, any healthcare professional is there to offer impartial advice and expertise, not to judge any of your choices.
The questions from the doctor will depend on their role and your individual circumstances and stage in the process. However, the below are some common questions it might be helpful to think through before your appointment.
If you’re taking someone with you to the appointment, consider whether you’d be happy discussing these topics with them present.
Are you medically fit to undergo the procedure?
The healthcare expert may want to get an initial overview of your health - your diet, exercise routine, smoking and alcohol habits etc. They may also ask about stress levels and your age and any risks associated with that.
Do you have any medical concerns that may make the journey more difficult?
You can’t be expected to know what is or isn’t significant, so be prepared to talk as openly and honestly about your health as you can.
Have you ever had cervical cancer or a sexually transmitted disease?
This might feel like a personal question but it could be important, so be prepared to answer honestly.
Have there been any fertility issues in your family currently or in the past?
If you can, talk to close female relatives about their fertility before your appointment.
Have you been pregnant in the past?
This is an important question, so honesty really matters. A past pregnancy can include ectopic pregnancies, abortions and miscarriages as well as live births. As these can be difficult subjects to talk about, try to prepare yourself emotionally and be ready to give the facts as calmly and clearly as you can.
When was your last menstrual period?
Be as precise as you can be here – consider tracking your periods in advance.
Have you had any egg freezing procedures done before?
The main concern of the fertility doctor and their team is for the patient to make a well informed decision on if they should freeze their eggs or under go IVF and have realistic expectations on treatment outcomes. Your doctor should be able to provide you with an estimate on number of eggs needed for reasonable chances and number of treatment cycles required. Proper counselling prevents women from experiencing false hope and makes clear that there are no guarantees.
It’s common for patients to have concerns in both IVF and egg freezing about the effects of the hormone treatment, oocyte retrieval, number of eggs to freeze and the financial aspect which can be very different across countries and clinics.
Feel free to make multiple appointments with health professionals and clinics as ones with the right expertise and a clear approach can make all the difference.
Thoughts from Zoe
“At my first appointment I received a lot of information, some of which was about things I hadn’t even considered, such as the number of appointments I might need to attend and the ongoing cost of storing eggs.
The topics covered in this first appointment are very personal and it can be very emotional, but there’s also a lot to get through so it can go at quite a quick pace, which makes it difficult to retain all of the information.
My advice is to take somebody along with you, don’t be afraid to use a notepad and paper or take notes on your phone, ask for written materials to take away and prepare before your appointment by taking a written list of questions and actually show this to the doctor at the start to ensure you get the answers before you leave.
You have no way of knowing how people will respond to you about your fertility journey, but one thing you can probably expect is some questions. Thinking through these questions in advance may take the pressure off when that moment arrives.
How long have you been considering fertility preservation?
Some friends and family may want to be reassured that this isn’t an impulsive decision. You’ll have many reasons for making the decision you have – sharing them (or as many of them as you feel comfortable) will help people understand, and ultimately to support your decision.
How will this affect your day-to-day life? What will it involve?
Remember, your knowledge of fertility preservation will probably be far greater than that of your loved ones! They’re likely to be interested in the process, so think through what you feel comfortable sharing
Consider how your journey may affect things you have planned with loved ones – will you miss a family gathering or birthday for example? It’s always useful to address any potential issues upfront.
Is this something you are ready for other people to know about?
Consider if it would be useful for some people to share your news with others (you may want certain members of the family to know but not have the time or emotional energy to tell them, for example).
What can they do to support you?
Think carefully about what help and support would be useful before, during and after your journey, and be as open and honest as you can be. Would you like them to come with you to appointments for example?
Thoughts from Julie
Partners are the number one support that women count on during a fertility journey. The presence of a partner at consultations with the doctor, for ultrasounds and certainly on the day of oocyte retrieval can be a testament to their commitment and adds to their greater understanding of the treatment. Partners might feel like back-seat passengers since the treatment mainly concerns the woman having the procedure. This may lead to feelings of powerlessness or guilt. Good communication on feelings, thoughts and experiences and keeping a mutual investment in the relationship is key.
What will the doctor need to know?
Be prepared for what could be a challenging conversation – this is a personal and sensitive topic – but remember, any healthcare professional is there to offer impartial advice and expertise, not to judge any of your choices.
The questions from the doctor will depend on their role and your individual circumstances and stage in the process. However, the below are some common questions it might be helpful to think through before your appointment.
If you’re taking someone with you to the appointment, consider whether you’d be happy discussing these topics with them present.
Are you medically fit to undergo the procedure?
The healthcare expert may want to get an initial overview of your health - your diet, exercise routine, smoking and alcohol habits etc. They may also ask about stress levels and your age and any risks associated with that.
Do you have any medical concerns that may make the journeymore difficult?
You can’t be expected to know what is or isn’t significant, so be prepared to talk as openly and honestly about your health as you can.
Have you ever had cervical cancer or a sexually transmitted disease?
This might feel like a personal question but it could be important, so be prepared to answer honestly.
Have there been any fertility issues in your family currently or in the past?
If you can, talk to close female relatives about their fertility before your appointment.
Have you been pregnant in the past?
This is an important question, so honesty really matters. A past pregnancy can include ectopic pregnancies, abortions and miscarriages as well as live births. As these can be difficult subjects to talk about, try to prepare yourself emotionally and be ready to give the facts as calmly and clearly as you can.
When was your last menstrual period?
Be as precise as you can be here – consider tracking your periods in advance.
Have you had any egg freezing procedures done before?
Think about what you want to know or are worried about. Use our Initial Consultation guide to help you.
Thoughts from Angie
At my first appointment I received a lot of information, some of which was about things I hadn’t even considered, such as the number of appointments I might need to attend and the ongoing cost of storing eggs.
The topics covered in this first appointment are very personal and it can be very emotional, but there’s also a lot to get through so it can go at quite a quick pace, which makes it difficult to retain all of the information.
My advice is to take somebody along with you, don’t be afraid to use a notepad and paper or take notes on your phone, ask for written materials to take away and prepare before your appointment by taking a written list of questions and actually show this to the doctor at the start to ensure you get the answers before you leave.
Thoughts from Julie
The main concern of the fertility doctor and their team is for the patient to make a well informed decision on if they should freeze their eggs or under go IVF and have realistic expectations on treatment outcomes. Your doctor should be able to provide you with an estimate on number of eggs needed for reasonable chances and number of treatment cycles required. Proper counselling prevents women from experiencing false hope and makes clear that there are no guarantees.
It’s common for patients to have concerns in both IVF and egg freezing about the effects of the hormone treatment, oocyte retrieval, number of eggs to freeze and the financial aspect which can be very different across countries and clinics.
Feel free to make multiple appointments with health professionals and clinics as ones with the right expertise and a clear approach can make all the difference.
Dealing with difficult questions
There’s no expectation that you’ll be able to answer every question – it’s fine to come back to your doctor later and take a break from the questions if you feel at all uncomfortable.
“Could I get back to you on that question?“
“I need to think that through, can we follow up on that at a later date?“
The doctor will also need to assess your current fertility health and may examine your body to do this. This is explained in our Initial Consultation guide.
Remember, every situation and every person are unique, but thinking ahead is always a good idea.
References
Vigil P, et al. 2017 Nov . Ovulation, a sign of health. The Linacre Quarterly. 84(4):343-355.